Monday, September 1, 2008

new hope

My running schedule has been pretty stagnant for the past month. I haven't run much farther than 7 miles since my 14 mile run. I have plenty of reasons...inclement weather, unbearably hot weather, busy schedule, blah blah blah. And recently, I've had some personal stuff that's really been getting me down to the point where I have no motivation to run.

I went running today and only made it through 3 miles before I just stopped. I didn't want to go on. It's weird because when I was younger, I used to run whenever I had problems. And I would run and run and run, at any time of day, if I was frustrated with anything. But now, I just lose hope and stop. It's frustrating and sad. But it just proves to me that 90% of running truly is psychological. If in my head I can believe past all my problems that I can do it, I can. I know my body can, because I've seen my body do it. It's my mind that is holding me back. We win, we lose...but can I believe enough to get me through each win & loss?

Well I was walking at the end, and approached where I had left my water, and I found this:

Aw! I cried. I sat down and cried. How can I be so narrow-focused that I miss the people in my life who really, truly love me and support all my efforts? There my water cup was refilled and the sweetest message spelled out on the driveway. There is hope ahead of me, I just have to keep at the foremost of my mind. Not just in running...in everything.

"This is a blessing."

1 comment:

Ben and Kristi Graves said...

aww, i love you too. just said a prayer for you right now. hang in there friend!